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Balls and using them when it counts.

there comes a point in every relationship when you start to question where you are heading. yes there is the traditional expectations of the natural relationship progression, first comes love, than comes marriage and then the baby in a carriage. but if what you have is a good thing, why change it?

the best thing is to be clear with what your expectations are when it comes to relationship. if you want to settle down, but your partner doesn't, you need to know why. are these barriers something that can be addressed, is it a question of timing, is it a question of uncertainty, are they even serious to begin with. these questions need answers and the only sure fire way to get them is to ask. the caveat is you yourself need to be firm and sure of what is it that you want.

if u ask your partner and they tell you they're not ready. what is it. financially? emotionally? sexually? some folks are very structured in how they approach relationships. they need to know they can provide for the future. need to ensure they have what it takes to start a family that sorta thing. some are just clueless and use this as an excuse just to buy time. maybe they're unsure but don't have the balls to actually say it. so they wait and wait for a sign that may or may not come. but how do you know if it's the former or the latter? you don't. that's why knowing what you want is of the utmost important. if your partner say they need time, ask yourself how much time can you give him. if they say they need to amass a certain amount of wealth, ask yourself what do you expect him to provide.

if they however tell you that they're afraid of commitment and dunno what to do then you just ask them what the fuck are you doing wasting my time here then?

men in general are not afraid of commitment. nope. we are not. we just want to fully understand what is it that we are committing ourselves into. if we give excuses when it comes to the crunch then you know there's something else that's influencing us.

so what do you do? this is where balls come in. you need to have the balls to give them the push, or the shove to get things going. you need to be prepared to lose them in the hopes of setting them straight and come back stronger. think of it this way, you have nothing to lose. if they realise the error of their ways and come back all straighten up knowing what to do then it's all good. if the don't then you would have saved yourself the heart break much later in the future.

disclaimer: all opinions are mine and is not meant to be used to dump your existing clueless partners who are afraid of commitment and shit. writer does not take any responsibilities for a few months of heartache if a break up occurs.
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