Every relationship is different. While some elements may be similar, the ultimate experience is unique to the person who experiences it. I’m just gonna wing this entry because i haven't been writing for a while but this topic is very close to my heart. I have written copiously about relationships. And nope i am not an expert. A lot of it is just common sense, some so common that folks take it for granted. And when they see it in action it will hit them smack dab on the nose. Now why didn't i think of that? Well it is always good to share. So anyways, here goes nothing.
U can never talk about relationship without having to touch about timing. Timing is everything. It is the difference between perfectly browned toast and inedible charcoal. There’s no exact science to it. Really there isn't. Timing is directly linked to your own readiness. Some folks take charge and make their own time. Others just stand in the sidelines waiting for the right opportunity to arrive. But the thing with waiting is rarely are u ever in total control.
So best bet is to be flexible and take any opportunity as it comes. Having said that, it's always good to sort out your own life first. I’ve mentioned this before. It is more difficult to complete two sets of puzzles all jumbled up. It would be easier for the two sets to complement each other once they're already completed individually.
The thing about opportunities is, u run the risk of not recognizing it in time. Many argue that they haven't met the "the one", but when asked what did they do to actually meet the one often the answers are lacking. Oh, how can one meet someone online?? All them online folks are desperate hussies. What?? Date someone off twitter? U cray-cray? No one takes shit seriously on twitter!! Because of this preset mentality and judgment we often deem some opportunities as not worth taking. It does boils down to one's own appetite.
It is important to take every opportunity but definitely not at the expense of safety. So blind dates? Sure. Twtups? Why not? Comic fiesta cosplay type thingy? Hey whatever works. It only takes one meet up to trigger something and u can always work from there. Detractors will label u desperate. Don’t worry. You’re the one who is living your life. Who knows? The first person u meet will be the last u will ever need.
Knowing what u want.
Some folks are lucky. They see something and immediately know that they want it. Some need a bit more time to figure it out. Some just like everything wearing a skirt. It is always important to know what u want. If u don't know what u want, please find out. And by finding out i don't mean trying everything out to see what fits. While that may be applied to clothes it shouldn't be applied to people. Knowing what u want is just the first building block. It gives u a starting point but it's shouldn't be carved in stone. U may discover that there are other things that u want. U may decide to prioritize and shit.
We are humans. We evolve. And what we want now may differ from what we want 5 minutes ago. This part is really tricky. On one hand u wanna have set criteria so that u can assess every potential partner. On the other hand u don't wanna limit yourself to whatever u just defined. U want someone who understands you. U want that person to look like Jessica Alba. U can't have it all. Prioritize. While it’s true, that not having any criteria would work too. U can be overwhelmed and lose focus on what matters. Knowing what u want helps u to focus, but be flexible enough to accept that things may change.
Communication is key.
Unless your partner is a mind reader, always tell them what u want. Hints may work for some, not on others. But clear communication negates the need for hints. I know, if u tell them what u want, it will not be romantic. But hey better to not be romantic if it means u can avoid misunderstanding. Many a relationships break because of miscommunication. Does that mean that u have to be honest and divulge everything? Maybe. Some relationships are matured enough to handle anything. Some, may be a little fragile. That’s when a judgment call is required.
How would the information affect the situation? Is it ultimately necessary to be honest? Do u really need to tell her she looks fat in them jeans? Or should u just suck it and lie? Again, we need to look at the end in mind. Yes, lies can't be the foundation on which u build your relationship. So maybe u shouldn't lie. But u may need to work on your information suppression skills. This is where the concept of misdirection is necessary. Maybe we can touch on that later. Way later.
End of part 1.