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everything i need..

may is the month for birthdays. first it was the little munchkin's. then today its my sister jannah who's on a bus celebrating her birthday for the second time i think. and on monday its my nephew nabil. we're having a birthday do on sunday to celebrate the trifecta.

if my sister ima were alive she'd be celebrating her 35th birthday on the 17th. i still get all knotted up inside when i think about her. she's the big sister everyone would love to have. warm caring and very protective of her adiks. i guess god has plans for everyone right? al-fatihah.

6) did u find what u were looking for?
i wasn't really looking for anything. to be honest with ya'll, the chance encounter with the senorita came at a point in both our lives where we were not really looking for anything specific. well maybe that's just me la, she'd probably tell ya that she had her sights on me right from the off. hehe. not la in the freakish stalkerish kind of way. i guess she liked the things she was reading and she was probably curious as to how the real me fit into her own assumptions of how i was.

i did went on a sorta A/S/L frenzy at one point. getting to know more people, trying to move out from my cocoon. i was fresh out of a 7 year relationship so u have to understand my trepidation on moving on to something with more substance than just casual friendship. it was kinda difficult for me being divorced as well. the stigma of being a duda and all that crap. i've seen how the look on a girl's face changed, or the tone of the conversation shifted when i told them that i was divorced. u'd think that this would affect the women more. hehe i guess it could've been better if i didn't tell them about it la kot. hehe hindsight is always 20/20.

like i said before, i'm a wysiwyg kind of guy. i don't do facade, i don't act. this is how i am. but u do learn stuff as u go along la kan. i'm digressing here.

anyways, i wasn't really looking for anything in particular. i know what i wanted - heck i even wrote it down somewhere in my now deleted blog entries from the days of ol. i wanted someone i could talk to. someone that can express herself freely, without any guise or reservations. someone who could understand me. well there were more specific criteria i guess. one was having long hair and plays video games. but that was just me being a nerd.

when we met, and when we started to get to know each other. and when we fight, and subsequently made up. when we joke and laugh and oftentimes cry. i start to realize that there were other a lot more that i never knew i wanted, that i found in her. i guess it's true what they say, u never know what u want until u find it.

and in her, i have everything i need.
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