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life's like that..

we received our company diary for the next financial year. in the past, i've never managed to fully utilise the diary as i'm so dependent on my palm to keep me organized. i think i'm gonna try to use it more this time. i remembered when i was much younger (hehe like i'm THAT old laa now eh), i always carry a notebook around with me where ever i go. sometimes to jot down observations, or a quick idea for a song or some shit like that. being a prefect back in the days, u have to carry a notebook with u to take down student infractions. skipping classes, tak pakai tie. funny how those seemingly serious things back then looks so trivial now eh.

anyways i've decided to convert the diary to a proper notebook la. since its the type of diary that can be refilled. i'm replacing the organizer bits out with some blank note pages from my 2004 diary to make the notes pages thicker. the lovely senorita had given me her company's corporate note book thingamabob which i thought was a great idea. i mean giving out diaries or organizers are so impracticle. well who writes in a diary anymore? u can't back up ur entries and sync it with ur computer. hehe.

its always good to put something down. ur thoughts and feelings, at a particular moment in time, tend to just get lost if u don't write them down somewhere. which is why i kinda regretted the whole 'yeah i'll delete my blog because i can' spur of the moment kinda thing. i started blogging back in 2002. well the first two years worth of entries doesn't count la coz it was mostly crap anyways. then came that period in my life where i found solace in writing. a kind of therapeutic escape from the problem(s) that plagued me at that point. it was good to know that i wasn't alone. that people could relate to the stories that i was sharing. i guess back then the motivation for writing was different. well it wasn't as if i needed any motivation, i just wrote whatever that my heart felt. i was just being honest.

i've made a number of acquaintances and a bunch of them became friends. people still come over to read me but i guess most of them are just curious of what i'm up to. the senorita highlighted that she loved the way i wrote before and that was the reason (not the only reason kot) she fell for me before we even met. hehe i know what ur thinking - 'how come la fatboy macam acat can reel in hot chick macam senorita??' trust me i've thought of it more than once also. the conclusion that i often come up with is nasib baik dia tidak memilih rupa.. hehe hmm i seem to be digressing.

ah ok back to the whole writing bit. its not really a struggle la to figure out why the writings have changed a lot. i mean its a simple math equation that can be explained as follows:

unhappy acat + broken heart = moody heartfelt entries

where as;

happy acat + sexy senorita = boring daily events entries

hehe hmm ape orang bercinta tak buleh tulis entries yg heartfelt ke? buleh la kot. hehe boleh blaah. no la. i think i'll save my extreme jiwang entries for her eyes only la kot. hehe nanti sorang-sorang complain nak muntah. barf bag dealers report extreme profiteering.

entah la. i guess the change is permanent kot. but i really see this as a good thing. hehe. if by beeing happy with the one that i love means that i can't write the way i use to anymore than be it la. i won't trade this feeling for anything in the world.
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