Skip to main content


Showing posts from March, 2006


the gestation period for a north american black bear
is 7 months. if a pair of black bears mated when the senorita and i
hooked up, they'd be having cubs right about now. the last 7 months have been very the. hehe very the
THE with a capital T. u'd likened it to a journey
through a storm somewhat. tempestuous at times. but
when u get through the eye of it, things can be calmer
than ever. i've learnt that sometimes things can get
out of focus when ur looking at it the wrong way. u
need to take a step back and assess what is it that
really matters. the past 7 months, i was taught what loving someone
really means. to give as much as u'd receive. to
accept and accommodate. to fight for every inch of it.
to be there whenever, wherever, whatever. to forgive
and to forget. 7 months is nothing u may say. people have been in
longer relationship with nothing to show for it in the
end. but i'm counting my blessings, coz i know i'm
lucky to be here. lucky to have her, and have this
chance …

cinta.. ini bukan rahsia..

I've heard many a tales of unrequited love. in fact i'm sure at some point in our life time we would have faced something similar. or maybe even worse. but to know that ur not loved back is in a way a good thing. at least u know. as hurt as u may be, at least u know. what of those who never got to know? i mean those who just admire from afar. keeping everything inside them. not wanting to try, to find out even if there's any chance. what of those?

to me, love is something that should never be restrained, bound or gagged. love should be left free, love is timeless, endless and boundless. love is. yes. love is. hehe. if u love someone just tell them u love them. seriously? even if its forbidden love? hmm well yes. u shud just express ur feelings. hehe things will work themselves out in the end. example. say u fancy someone else's husband/wife/fiance/boyfriend/girlfriend. and this feeling is so strong that its bursting from the seams. u can't hide it anymore. well don…

Thoughts of the great beyond..

Sometimes in our pursuit in trying to prove a point, we'll stop at nothing, until we've achieve that vindication, that realisation that "yeah i knew that there's something wrong with this picture" moment that somewhat justifies our actions. Maybe it just started of as a little test, to see if things have changed. Then things just get so carried away that instead of having a positive hypothesis of the possibilities of things improving, u've set ur stall out to confirm that things will go wrong. More often than not it will. The mind is a very powerful thing indeed. U think and it will be.. One way or the other, sooner rather than later?That brought me to some thinking. Amongst the stupidest thing that i've ever done; was to convince myself that if i really work at it i would be able to make another person love me. Even when i knew that when it comes to love and the matters of the heart there should not be any forcing involve. Still, u can really argue it an…

Weekend du da..

I love you. I know sometimes those words seem to come from this lips a little to easily but nevertheless i do mean it every time. I love you. Spent the F1 weekend not really concentrating on the races. Renault did a 1-2 and BMW registered their first points. Was watching the race on telly but 8 laps till the finish i made my way to see the senorita. Just wanted to spend some time with her. Never could get enough.We watched V for Vendetta friday night. I heard a few gripes about the movie. How it didn't stay true to the comic. Good thing i haven't read it. Or i would have been biased to hate it. Which would be a shame because this was a very good movie.Initially, the underlying theme of the movie is vengeance. But as it progresses u'll realise that there's more to it than that. At times there's elements of a political satire to it the action snappy and its 'ganas' just the way i like it. Agent Smith from the matrix trilogy was unrecognizable as the protagoni…

push me pull me..

this pearl jam song, was it pearl jam ke? yeah it is. push me pull me, pull me out..

Push me Pull me - Pearl Jam

I had a false belief
I thought I came here to stay
We're all just visiting
All just breaking like waves
The oceans made me, but who came up with me?
Push me, pull me, push me, or pull me out {2X}

So if there were no angels, would there be no sin?
You better stop me before I begin
But let me say: if I behave, can you arrange a spacious hole in the ground
Somewhere nice, make it nice
Where the land meets my tide
Push me, pull me, push me, or pull me out {4X}

Like a cloud dropping rain
I'm discarding all thought
I'll dry up, leaving puddles on the ground
I'm like an opening band for the sun
Push me, pull me {6X}
I've had enough, said enough, felt enough, I'm fine

somehow i can't get this song out of my head.

have u ever felt that sometimes ur life just lack that certain calling? what is ur purpose in life? what is ur role in the grand scheme of things. have u ever …

a whole lot of nothings..

so the past few days have been something. i mean really something. lessons learnt borders along the lines of pig headedness and egotistical behaviour will get u nowhere, acting after the fact just doesn't have the same impact as preemptive proactiveness and if it really means that much to ya, don't be putting anything off. sometimes i wonder, how la people can put up with me. coz i can be unnecessarily difficult at times. still the fact that people still willing to give me a chance must mean something right?

anyways, so work has definitely been something of a revelation. i'm currently updating this county profile thingy for our annual management visit to this country. i noticed that most of the contents are pretty much cut and paste material. i mean granted maybe the person doing it before didn't really have that much of an experience in coming up with insightful reports and comments but simply cut and paste? i have to admit that i'm somewhat drawn to doing that to…


i didn't want to write anything during working hours. trying to observe office policy and what not. but my hands were just itching to write something. physically itching. wait, that must've been the ant bites.

sometimes life presents u with challenges. this may range from the more serious how do i tell my family that i've got a few months to live to why can't i just appologize to her for that very small thing. granted this challenges may vary in degrees of importance. but it doesn't mean that we can just take things for granted.

maybe by telling ur family straight on they'd be more receptive at trying to make things as easy and as comfortable to u as possible? maybe by putting off on the appology, u'd lose the love of ur life just like that?

entah ler.

incidentally, i think i'm getting more lost by watching the new season of lost on axn. the show clearly demonstrates that continuity/connectivity is not important in the plots. u can simply introduce chara…


Kite - U2

Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

And hardness, it sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin

I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone
Or anything at all

Who's to say where the wind will take you?
Who's to say what it is will break you?
I don't know, which way the wind will blow

Who's to know when the time has come around?
Don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

It's summer, I can taste the salt of the sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me...

I'm a man, I'm not a child...
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who's to say where the wind will take you?
Who's to say what it i…

weekends are soo much fun..

since the office move, i'm finding that i have to walk a lot more than i had too. the toilet and pantry is way on the other side, the meeting room the office supply room. the finance dept with whom i have the most dealings with. well not that i'm complaining. hehe read in the weekend's paper that male execs in the office have more obesity tendencies when they spend copious amount of time sitting down. makes ya think a lot actually. need to start looking after  me health more. do some cardiovascular activities. increase stamina. eat more healthily blah di blah.. *snore..

i came in earlier than usual today. my sister started working today. since my brother in law is on his ptd course for like since months, she'll be staying with us for the weekdays and commute to work near ampang park. which means i have someone to go to work with early in the morning. which means i'll be able to come much earlier than usual. which means i am a happy chappy. the one setback would be …

Royal screwing if any..

3 went in for the bid. 1 a clear favourite, a telco, winning the bid might increase their competitiveness against the other two major telco. Another is a loss making state owned firm which has the advantage of having fibre optics network across peninsular malaysia. And the last one is a fledgling paid tv corporation with a subscriber base of how many i don't even know.
Guess who didn't get the bid?

One have to wonder how this move would affect us as the consumer. Granted 3g services haven't been picking up as expected, but i fail to see the logic of it all.

Of the 3 mobile operators, 2 have it, direct award. The one without is now required to 'work closely' with the two newly awarded licensees.

Hmm where am i going with all of this anyways.


sometimes it is easier to live in ignorance. pick someone to blame and pretty much blindly vent ur anger/frustration towards them. more convenient to pick an easy target than to really understand what is going on..

sari berita terkini..

to tell ya the truth, i didn't really need nor did i really want to know about it. i mean it had been a year since we divorced anyways and i'm somewhat surprised that it took them this long to finally did it. i pretty much had moved on myself and as i mentioned before life doesn't actually revolve around her. so there i was minding my own business when i got the news. do i congratulate? say that i'm happy for them? doakan kebahagiaan? hehe.

a friend said that i could be happy for them, since i am happy with what i have now. no need to bear a grudge or anything like that. the thing is it doesn't matter what i think/felt about it. it really doesnt matter. it didn't matter then, why should it matter now.

i won't lie and tell ya that i'm not the least bit affected by the whole thing. come on la kan. we are only human. i'm not sure what it is. its not regret or anything like that. sedih? anger? hehe tah la.

the only thing that i'm grateful for is t…